I feel like I'm harboring too much emotions, so much that it might overwhelm me... and maybe you too. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm light years away from knowing you, but I am afraid of the fact that I'm light years away from knowing you. Maybe it's because I don't know how to react to certain things that you do... or don't do. You're different; you do things your own way, you live in your own world with its own set of rules and that's really cool. I just feel like a total stranger at times, aimlessly wandering in unnecessary (and imagined) doubt. So I might come up with conclusions or interpretations that aren't true. I can get so physically close to you, but whenever you look away, it feels like we're dimensions apart. You're a philosophy that I can't comprehend, an enigma that is seemingly impossible to grasp.
Maybe I'm just impatient. We're only two months old and we have, hell, possibly two decades ahead of us for all I know to discover all three of you. I want to make you happy the way you make me happy. And you don't even have to try, which is the ridiculous thing because I'm afraid I'm boring you out. I'm too easily contented with the simple things, but I think you're looking for more. You seemed restless sometimes and it kills me to think that you were expecting more from me whatever it is that I may or may not have failed to deliver. So now I'm trying. Trying to wiggle my way into your heart and stay in there for as long as I can. Trying to be on par with you. I hate the feeling that's somewhat akin to disappointment or being let down at the end of the day because I don't think I'm good enough for you.
The problem is, I don't know. I can't tell. I can't tell if I'm doing the right thing or not because of the silence. I'm not with a space of molecules randomly colliding with each other, I'm with a person... whose sentience might be a bit lacking, as Chris indirectly pointed out (that doesn't really sound any better than air, lol). I need a response to work with, to help me qualm the doubts, the insecurities. I suppose 'When You Say Nothing At All' isn't cut out for our theme song. That's the whole point behind this rant, I guess.
